Outspoken Nothingness

George W. Bush Resume

2008-12-27T20:42:00.002+03:00

Just when I thought this man can't possibly do worse than what I do know, I come across this.
The extent of his failures never cease to surprise me =)

Check it out:
http://bushandcheneysuck.com/George-W.-Bush-Resume.htm

"Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again"

2008-06-21T02:40:00.002+03:00

*It hurts to be hurt

*I'm not ready to grow-up. Not just yet. I haven't done half the things a "pre-adult" should do. What are they? I have no idea, but I don't feel ready. I actually feel ripped off my youth

*I turned into one of them...someone who talks just to fill the silence without saying anything worth saying The problem is: Because there's nothing to talk about, and I don't have much going on in my life, I fill the silence with bitching and complaining and nagging and whining. I HATE myself for that

*Why do I say yes when I always want to say no?

*Why am I always there for a friend who always needs me there when she's not not being there for me when in fact I need the space and she knows it?

*"She only got that for you because I got something for her last month when I went to Dubai. So she didn't want to give me something without also giving you something" (Regarding a "souqa"). This was said to be by a close friend when I described the girl as thoughtful for getting me a little something. Was that a little bit hurtful or am I being a bit too sensitive?

*All I want to do is live on a deserted island for a week or two with no human contact whatsoever, but given there is electricity and proper bathroom facilities. I just need some peace and quiet. Is that so much to ask for?

*I've gained 5 kilos in the past month. I feel too heavy for comfort.

*Even though nothing is going on in my life, where the only action I get is having dinner with friends, I feel very chaotic. Like I need to calm down. It's really taking a toll on me, and I have no idea how to control it.

*I want to do absolutely nothing and be absolutely useless, at the same time I want to be productive. It's driving me insane.

* I feel very empty....

* I want to feel better, and yet I feel there's nothing wrong. But then again, nothing is feeling good.

I am a mess!

It's That Time of Year...

2008-05-27T22:41:00.002+03:00

It's that time of the year when all our projects are due....

My major requires us to apply EVERYTHING we learned all year, sometimes incorporating prerequisite subjects, on real companies/systems. So all year we go to that company to collect all the data we require. At the end of the semester, now, we put everything together and try to make sense of it. It's this time of the year thats MOST hectic. The seemingly never-ending problems makes group members want to rip each other's hairs out. Data are either not validated with the real system, or it's inaccurate, or missing. We get stuck mid-project with what seems like gibberish. And the worst kind of problem, the one we faced the past four days, modeling and simulating the system. There's no making up information, there's so skipping some parts... there's absolutely no way of disguising the fact that something just wasn't right. Everything is shown visually and statistically. As much as I hate it... as much as it stresses me our beyond belief... as much as it makes me hate my colleagues... as much as it makes me tired from spending 12 hours at uni. for a whole week, trying and trying... there's something about me that absolutely loves it!! I can't really touch on what I LOVE about it... but at the end of it.. it always makes me feel good. Not the typical, I understand, like the subject got an A feel good. It's different genuine kind of feel good.

My project is due in 11 hours, all the analyzing/written part still needs to be done, and here I am blogging, although I really do, and although I'm supposed to be very stressed because I have another couple of projects to work alongside finals all in a week, there's this goody feeling inside of me....seeeeee.... a genuine type of feel good. Ga9ib =P

Yes, Ma 3indi salfa all along =)

Kuwaiti Nostalgia =)

2008-05-18T01:08:00.007+03:00

Voting Results So Far....

2008-05-17T23:19:00.004+03:00

I know it's still VERY early to decide,
but from what I'm seeing so far... me no likey the results of the votes =(

UPDATE: Hours later, and i still no likey the results!!! I can honestly say I lost hope with the majority of Kuwaiti people. If they're not voting for people of their same clan (which the results CLEARLY show), and when they're not, they're voting for someone from their same sect. And then they vote for those with big names and bigger bank accounts. I honestly cannot comprehend how a lot of those people are getting those amounts of votes. And I certainly cannot comprehend how AlKhurafi, AlGhanim, and Haytham Al Shaya' can all be in the top 10 all night even though AlKhurafi has been proved to cause more damage than good, AlGhanim, well I didn't really think his presence made any difference, and from what I heard, Haytham Al Shaya's speech was disasterous!!! I'm also dissapointed AlSadoun is almost tenth place in his district. Occupying the first places are mulla dudes. Walla shakilna hal sina we'll have a VERY conservative parliment, and I am NOT happy, not happy at all!!! :/ I hope there's some kinda miracle that would change these results drastically!

Elektrology

2007-12-18T01:15:00.000+03:00

One of my friends bought a mixer and found himself a new hobby,
Check him out at:

elektrology.blogspot.com

Listen to his stuff, and leave your comments, he'll be ecstatic =)
To all you guys who workout, if you're into whatever kinda music he's working with, it's great for gym ;)

I loved "We play house music"!

Tick Tock...

2007-12-02T23:39:00.000+03:00

I'm still alive...
But I REALLY should find a cure to my never-ending procrastination, whether its school related, people related, or personal goals. I know I have all day, and so I plan all the things I want to get done and over with, next thing I know it's 11 pm.
Looking at my calender today it's hard to believe it's December already!!
Where on earth does time go!!?

"I am opposed to any form of tyranny over the mind of man."

2007-10-15T04:09:00.000+03:00

Dear QualityNet,
I tried accessing www.deviantart.com tonight but all I got was this lousy picture saying I was denied access. I find that rude, insulting and a rip off by your company.
First of all, being a young adult I believe I'm more than capable, and should have the full right to choose what I'd like to view without your not-so-kind approval! Spare me the "children also have access to those sites as well" reason because frankly, it's none of my business. I believe it's the parent's job to censor, not yours. I find it rude that you believe you're more capable of doing a parent's job that the parent's themselves.
Secondly, I believe when I paid for your service, it was to get internet, not for you to choose what I can and cannot do. I don't believe I'm getting the service I deserve as a customer. I'm aware our country demands some sort of censorship, but you have gone way overboard.
Regarding deviantart specifically, I find blocking it very unnecessary and uncalled for. It's an art website. Sexual-containing content is not viewed unless a user is logged in to their deviantart account (and I highly doubt many children will have one.) Needless to say, it's only an ART site! Last time I checked, knowledge of art is considered an education.
Seeing the material being blocked day after day, I believe this censorship issue is a hopeless case, so how about I help you be as ignorant as you hope to be!?
The study of the human's anatomy may involve some nudity, block that as well. Why don't you block anything that has to do with biology while you're at it?
Then there's all the arts, performance, paintings etc.- God forbid an image on my computer screen will encourage me to rape the first moving thing in front of me. Because deprivation has proved to work like magic in our society.
Oh yes, music, block that too, you know, they say it's "haram" and may take me away from fulfilling my "duties" as a "devout" Muslim (assuming everyone is a Muslim because it's a sin if someone does not follow your faith)
How can we forget the news, articles, blogs, or works on fiction online? Indulging in a good read that's not written by Arabs with biased views that portray some truth about the world we're living in is a sin because it defies YOUR belief and image of how YOU WANT to be portrayed. Of course, the truth should be censored.
You have a lot to censor. Chop chop! Get to work. Note: I hope you realize the sarcasm beyond the fourth paragraph!

- A very unhappy customer.

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Seriously, this whole censorship thing has been taken way overboard. Can't we do something about this!? What can we do!? Who's really responsible and to what degree are they responsible? Should we blame the Internet companies for this, or our government or so-called Parliament!? And they say we're a democratic nation. Ha! Where's the say of the more liberal Kuwait? How come the liberal voice is always the quieter one? How come people keep on falling for everything that follows "our religion..". When will be stop being idle and take these idiotic "laws" these money-thirsty pseudo-religious people are forcing on us!? When will ENOUGH be ENOUGH!!? I don't know whether I should be laughing or crying about this anymore.

"You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." -John Morley

"Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritarian regime." - Potter Stewart

& The People Said in Unision, "BaaaaH!"...

2007-10-03T19:02:00.000+03:00

Besides all the media fuss about, a couple of friends told me about it. One of my friends doesn't even read unless she was forced to by a class. She read some of the "good" books outthere, and yet she thought it was utterly boring. But when she told me she read this book, was moved by it and thought it was life-changing, that's when I decided, I MUST read this book. And so I did!

THIS is what all the fuss was out?! THIS is what millions of people were touched by, moved and had a life-changing experience!?

Besides the fact that Mrs. Ronda has been accused of plagiarism, I personally felt she took bits and pieces from other self help books, pushed it a bit, and viola! A Secret. Which is a stupid name btw, because there's nothing secretive about it. But that's besides the point. Sure, thinking positively and being optimistic is great. But actually believing that wishful thinking is going to get you the physical thing!? I'm sorry but I've had a LOT of wishful thinkings, but not working to attain them is NOT going to get you what you want. I mean honestly, a guy wants to be rich, dreams about it, and suddenly he gets anonymous checks by mail!? Or if I'd like to fix my eyesight, all I'd have to do is think positively and think hard about it!? If it were that simple perhaps we'd have no use of doctors, or gain nothing out of working. Perhaps the concept or "earning" should be erased. Perhaps the poor souls in South East Asia thought very hard about being in an economically poor, politically curropt country that faces disasterous natural disaster where thousands of them die yearly, where families are lost, etc, etc. Yes, perhaps these unfortunate people thought about that and brought it upon themselves.

Rubbish!

What I'm most surprised about though is all the people who actually believe in it! I mean seriously.... how can anyone find logic or truth is that!?

Mrs. Ronda, if there's something I got out of the book (besides wasting a good 2 hours) is this:
You have insulted my intelligence, and you confirmed two things; people are sheep to be believing in this nones-ense you called your book, and second is Einsteins saying: "Two things in the world are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the former"

* I know everyone says the movie is so much better. Maybe it was more successful in capturing the audience, since the book was very repetitive and could have been writing in like... a paragraph! But I'm pretty sure the concept she's trying to present is the same, hence, rubbish. But like a friend of mine told me, "know your enemy" - so I'll be getting acquainted with it sometime this week :P

Freedom and Censorship

2007-09-22T05:22:00.000+03:00

In my previous post I got a comment, and as I've read in numerous blogs, that they're against censorship no matter what it was. Usually I agree, but I think I've come to a different conclusion after being failed by my surroundings again and again...

One of the things I stand for is freedom; freedom of everything of everything - freedom of thought, freedom of speech, of action, etc. So naturally, I'm against censorship.

But before everything, freedom is earned. We've already been given freedom and we've insulted and abused it. "7oriyatok taqif 3ind 7oareyat alakhareen" (Your freedom stops when you step upon other people's freedom). When we insult and bash one another, in what can be only described as the most vulgar, demeaning, rude, and cheapest way to do so, we're saying we don't deserve having our freedom because we're abusing it and not allowing each other to have freedom of thought and belief because it's not what we think or believe. Hypocritical? Indeed.

When man cannot respect their fellow man, when freedom is made an insult of, freedom is not earned, freedom is not deserved! Freedom is not merely a word - it is an ideal to stand and strive for.

It is one thing to have freedom in learning, reading, in knowing about everything. It is another thing to abuse this privilege of freedom with using the ounce of knowledge you know to insult the freedom of another (such as what happened with the show lilkha6aya thaman). That is not freedom. When you stand, strive and seek for freedom, it does not mean it's freedom for yourself or your kind alone, and that's what I think we're forgetting here in the Arab world. And that's why I'm starting to believe more and more that we're not worthy of freedom.

Instead of being concerned about the censorship of insulting stupid meaningless shows (in my opinion the censorship of the stupidity and shallowness idle minds reached to - which is probably a good thing for our sake), we should be more concerned about censorship of books and knowledge; if they take away that they're taking away more than just freedom of knowledge, it's freedom of choice, of thought, of speech - the freedom to be yourself. Knowledge is power - let's fight for that instead.

"Hathy likwait 9al 3ala elneby"

2007-09-13T01:08:00.000+03:00

During a post-vacation reunion with a couple friends over brunch today the topic of the usual T.V shows during Ramadan came up. They went on and on about how lame the shows are getting and mainly how they only show an exaggerated negative view of our society. Needless to say, all of the girls besides me and this other girl, base their daily schedules around these shows. They kept on going on and on on how the view of our society changed because of that, how it's harming society, etc, etc. I forgot how exactly the conversation went on but it was something like this:

-Me saying that they complain and yet watch these shows
-They say but there's nothing else to watch
-I saw I'll be more than glad to give them all the American T.V shows I watched which they yet haven't, betting them they wouldn't be able to finish half of them before Ramadan is over
- They defend themselves by saying that they can't not watch these shows because everyone is
talking about them

And here's how I concluded people, and a good one if I may say so myself: You really should stop complaining about this every single year it's getting old. And there's always two things to do in this situation.
1) Watch it and shut up about it. - BE A PART OF THE PROBLEM
2) Don't watch it - BE PART OF THE SOLUTION

If there are no viewers they'd stop making it. Makes sense? Obviously. Easy? Very. It's not rocket science ya know!

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If you're easily offended about religion, and/or prejudice and biases that obviously exist in this country, then you should probably skip the following part:
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The other part that got me boiling was a talk about a cancellation of a certain show. Normally, the censorship part would get me boiling. Today, it was how people reacted to that! They say there's this show that talks about the life of Shiats - their rituals and mainly "zawaj al muta'a". It was done in a way shock people I guess? I'm not sure. I'm sorry to say, my "friends" actually wanted that show to air for "6emasha purposes" and for ignorant pleasure of possibly insulting the other sect. None of the people I was with were Shi'at, and I have never been more ashamed of my friends and what have just been said!

I mean didn't you just say you didn't want shows that "insulted" our society? Doesn't this include that too? Or just because of a few different beliefs it made it alright? Hypocrisy beyond belief!

WTF! Honestly! Is this how low we sunk!!? No wonder we're an ignorant backwards country! THIS is what's supposed to be our youth, our "next generation", our future makers!? If what I witness was it, then our country is on it's way to being, excuse my French, a shit hole! We, my friends, are going to be another Lebanon when it comes to politics and religion. Being very touchy, allowing a single difference in something that's supposed to be totally personal between a man and his God, be something very public and insulting. Burn everything the older generation built to the ground because of ignorance box-like minds!

All that for what? Your religion!!!? Something of the most private matter!? What makes you so sure that the rituals you follow are the "right" one!? What's right and wrong? And who the hell are you to judge! Who the hell are you to claim that what you are is what God wants?! Last time I checked, God is unmeasurably "forgiving." You beleive in a God who created everything around us, a God who's capable of everything and anything; do you honestly believe he'll judge a person on small difference in rituals here and there!? Isn't God the only one who knows it all. What makes you play God and insist so rightfully that people who follow your religion is what's right. That goes to all sects and religions btw!

What' the difference between a few rituals here and there? Is that what truly matters!!? Isn't faith the bases of belief, the bases of following a certain "religion", the bases of what really matters?! Or maybe a person's good heart!? They way they treat you? Respect? General goodness in a person!? Which btw seems to be impossible to find these days!

Screw everyone who thinks like that. Honestly. I'm proud to say I'm not Sinni, I'm not Shi'it. I refuse to belong to people who keep on insisting that they're right without looking at the bigger picture. I refuse to belong to people who hate each other because they're different. I refuse to belong to people who are destroying a country that has the potential to be brilliant because of their ignorance, pride, and need to be right. That does not mean you are, just means you're an idiot!

I know that it's not the people who I'll be belonging to, but a faith. But, to me, faith in those people have been lost. If that's what having faith to certain "rituals" (not even religion or faith or God) does to people, then I don't want it!

And besides, doesn't "Islam" mean peace? Where is the peace?! Doesn't it frown upon ridiculing other people and not forcing others to believe in what you do? "Lakom deenakom wa ly deeny?"

Also something to think about. This may come out as a bit bold. But as far as I'm aware, this whole sect thing did not exist the time the prophet was alive. It's not stated in the Quran not the Hadeeth. In a nutshell, no one will ever know who's "right" or "better" or whatever the hell it is people compare and judge on.

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What happened to youth's dreams of a better tomorrow?
What happened to youth's ambitions of idealism!?
What happen to youth's promise not to fall into the ignorance of the older generations!?
What happened to youth's will to change for the better!?
What happened to youth's desire for a stronger united nation!?

What happened to all the hopes, dreams, and ambitions that youth are supposed to have for a better tomorrow!!?

Words cannot seem to describe how FURIOUS I was this morning. And how much more I am while writing this as the actual realization of the mind corruption of Kuwait's next generation and the hopelessness of how the situation seems.

"Society make a weakness of kindness, and an insult of freedom"

This One Time, In Band Camp...

2007-08-18T23:21:00.000+03:00

So yes, the description of my experience with last night's earthquake was much shorter than I would have liked it to be. But I blogged about it as soon as I felt it, and I was dead tired to actually think. Now that I know no damages were done and no one was hurt, I can safely say: that was sort of cool! I mean, it's been a while since I experienced something new.

Think about it. Doesn't have to be something major. Can be something very ordinary, very insignificant, but:

When was the last time you did something for the first time? And what was it?

Earthquake!?

2007-08-18T02:11:00.000+03:00

I actually felt my bed shaking! I got scared shitless. I sat up with my heart racing. I saw my laptop had a msg from a friend saying "was there an earthquake?"

Ppl, I actually think it was!

"I Touch the Future, I Teach"

2007-08-13T00:05:00.000+03:00

"Everyone who remembers his own educational experience remembers teachers, not methods and techniques. The teacher is the kingpin of the educational situation."

-Sidney Hook

I've always known that at one point in my life, I would love to take up teaching. Partly because I never want to leave school, partly because of my nerd-ish tendency of loving to learn and the look people get when you explain something to them and suddenly the light goes on and they get it, and partly because I think it's amazing to touch and make a difference in someone's life in that way. I honestly believe it's the most rewarding, fulfilling, touching job there is. Although what I'm currently doing has nothing to do with teaching, I still think I can probably find a way to teach if only for a short while.

"Freedom Writers"

WATCH IT!!
If I can achieve half of what she did, I think I can die happily content. I simply loved the movie. Very touching and emotional. Girls, you might need a box of tissue nearby.

It's based on a true story!!

Speaking of teachers. Some of the people who GREATLY influenced my life were my teachers in school. Particularly two of them. One who taught me the joy of reading and creative writing. And the other who taught me to believe in myself and have confidence in my abilities. He also introduced me to debate, model UN, and public speaking, transforming me from the girl who was too shy to even answer a one worded answer to the girl who's always willing to share her opinion on any subject. Their influence greatly shaped who I became to be, and I'm extremely grateful to them.

Did any of your teachers greatly influence your life?
And name something you believe to be very rewarding and fulfilling.

Change & Change for the Better Are Two Different Things

2007-07-01T00:52:00.000+03:00

Okay, what's up with replacing our roads with bricks!? BRICKS!!? Laaish!? Honestly! It's very noisy and very uncomfortable driving on it and it really doesn't do the cars justice. When this first started a while back I was told that it was because a member of the royal family bought the brick company so they wanted to "eymashoon" the product. Another story was that it was easier to remove and replace when maintenance is needed for the pipes. Personally I think the second is more likely. Nevertheless, which country makes roads out of bricks after the 16th century!?

Btw, what's the word for "gar" in English? Asphalt? Concrete? something else?

Randomania!

2007-06-22T05:08:00.000+03:00

* It's 5:10 am, and this is the 6th day I'm attempting to fix my sleeping habits, so I'll just wait for the movie Sou says is amazing, which gives means I still have another 3 hours to waste, about 2 to watch the movie, and then ey9eer khair .. I'll have to find things to keep me busy so I won't sleep until late tonight

*Speaking off.... what on earth do people do when they wake up early!!? For some reason I can't seem to able to do anything before 12 pm except go to classes. I thought of going out, but every where's closed before 10, and I'm kinda bored of everywhere already even though I don't go out much, doesn't make much sense? I know... But ya, maybe I made it a habit that from 6am-12 pm is dead hour to me :P

* I need movie recommendations!

* (yawn)

* I'm so glad the consecutive wedding days are over! They over did it this year...

* Is it just me or is styling your hair and getting your makeup done professionally costly!? I never realized that until these two weeks, every time I take my wallet out to pay for something I notice I'm already going broke, by the day!

* Speaking of! Do any of you girls know a place that are good at hair curling ("fair")?

* On the topic of hair, I'm going bald! :( Does anyone know something that helps with hair loss and growth? And please don't recommend the garlic treatment, I tried that it was a TOTAL nightmare, and i didn't even grow any hair...

* Johnny rockets, burger Boutique, slider station, burger hub, burger company, burger bar... Seriously enough burger places, think of something new already! Does anyone know any unusual yet suitable restaurants such as Moroccan or Jamaican, or madreee... bas you get the point :P

* I do NOTHING all day, and yet it seems like there aren't enough hours in the day

* I accidentally stepped on and broke a C.D that installs my printer, it's installed now, but for future use, what can be done? I don't have to get a new printer do I?

* I'm downloading the last episode of this season's One Tree Hill, I don't want it to end! :( I've been addicted to that show its as if I know these people and now they're leaving me! Yes, I tend to get "too" into these shows sometimes :P

* Yes I realize this is very random and very long, but I still have more time on my hands :P

* It's annoying (blessing?) that I crave food between the hours of 11 pm - 5 am, when I can't do anything about those cravings

* Meryam Fares's "Nadeny" has been playing in my mind for the past two days

* Okay anyone reading this and doesn't have anything to comment about, say something random :P

Tomayetoes Tomaahtoes!

2006-10-27T23:55:00.000+03:00

Why is it طوكيو and not توكيو ?
or صنداى and not سنداى (sundae)?
or صبواى and not سبواى ?
or طومي and طوني instead of تومي and توني ?

or واشنطن and not واشنتن even though واشنجتن would be more proper with the three dots under the ج but it's too confusing and looks scary :P

Greatness Is Not Where You Stand, But By Which Direction You Are Moving

2006-10-19T03:07:00.000+03:00

Okay, so far tonight I've read two posts comparing students who study in Kuwait and students who study abroad. Both were leaning towards those studied abroad. Besides those two posts, I have friends who left and now seem to think they're better than me because they left. Just because you changed your destination does not make you better or superior to me, in fact, in this case, it made you shallower for thinking so.

I swear it's not jealousy, or attacking, or saying one's better than the other. This post might seem biased, but it's only because I'm defending my position. :P

I don't complain about those who study abroad but when someone starts talking negatively about those who stayed here, it gets to me. Not everyone who left is or turned out to be a good person. And not everyone who stayed is a bad person. And people who left and give me the "I'd rather be a loser among the 'winners' than a winner among the 'losers'" - you're simply pathetic, you know who you are. And yes people, that was an actual quote! It pisses me even more when people who don't go clubbing or drink or dance or do anything no permissble here and bitch about how "ilKuwait maaalllaaaqaaa! Mako shay asaweee!" - Well, what did you do there? I am perfectly sure all I heard you say was study, yam3at, movies and eating.

One blogger bought up the issue of how people complain about those studying abroad complaining and comparing Kuwait to other places, and how it's only expected of them. Most Kuwaitis have seen and been other places; we're a "worldly" nation. We do know a lot about the world and what's going on, and in this area, we're less ignorant that a LOT of other countries, I'll give us that. Criticizing and comparing is one thing, and always bitching and acting like you're above this country is something else. Everyone complains, even people here. Even people who have never left here. Let's face it, it's in our blood :P We're always complaining about one thing or another, and we always find something wrong about something or another. Don't point your guns at me just yet, I'm not attacking, I'm just stating the facts very bluntly, so bear with me.

The only time I complain about those who came back and complain is only when they complain using the reason "I'm open-minded" without them respecting the culture or being open-minded themselves (hypocrisy).

One of my friends who studies abroad came back last Christmas to complain about every single aspect of the Kuwaiti culture, including personal decisions by its people. One of my friends recently wore the hijab, she's the youngest of 5 sisters, and the rest are all non-covered. It was her personal decision. Even her family asked her to wait and think about it some more. But she was determined. Now the friend who was back kept bitching about how "mitkhalfeen" people like her are, and how close minded they are, etc. etc. Another incident is when one of our classmates got engaged to an older guy, whom she already knew, and wanted. It was her decision, and she was the happiest I've ever seen her. He was her choice, the timing was her choice, and the girl was almost flying min happiness. My friend's reaction? Bitching and complaining about young marriages, and about how she's not done with her studies yet, and how he's an older guy, and that it's close-minded, and takhalof, etc, etc.

See my point!? Both of those girls did something they WANTED to do because they were content with it, but she kept complaining and comparing and kept on saying, they're close-minded and mitkhalfeen. And there's over a 50% chance that if she had the right guy and the guts she would have done the same. Now someone bitching and complaining about everything, including personal decisions such as those, is NOT OPEN-MINDED! In fact, it's the exact opposite. A third incident was: her argument about wanting to wear a mini skirt and revealing top on a weekend in Marina Mall. She didn't want to do it, but she was arguing that if she wanted to she'd be stared at and commented on. I understand freedom of expression, and I'm the kind of person who doesn't mind revealing clothes, walk naked for all care, but it's not because I can't or will be bothered, it's just that I'm RESPECTING the surrounding and the people I'm around. I'm sure I'll live if I wore a longer skirt. That way I'm doing what I want to do without disrespecting those people who'd rather not see my upper thighs. Basically, just like you'd like to be respected, respect those around you. It's not mandatory; it's being civilized and acting on reciprocal respect.

What I'm trying to say, not everyone who studied abroad changed. And change and change to the better are two different things. Not everyone here is good, but not all of them are bad either. Most of my friends are studying abroad, and I stayed here thinking I'm going to be surrounded by pathetic losers. Funny thing is, when I see the brilliance of the people I met, and compare them with my old friends when they're here, I'm sad to say, I'm MUCH PROUDER that I know people like the people I initially labeled as losers before even knowing them. And I'm sad about the way my old friends are.

And while I'm at this, let me explain Kuwait University. When I knew I was staying here I thought that I was going to ace all my classes without even trying much seeing that I graduated from a respectable private school. And I heard how bad Kuwait University was, etc, etc. Before uni, I was an AP classes, straight A student. In Kuwait University I'm was a C student in the beginning (general classes) and an A/B student now (major classes). Not because I wasn't studying or trying, not because it was unfair, but because it isn't as easy as everyone claims it to be. As much as I don't like Kuwait University I had to give them that. The subjects are well taught, the professors are really good, they are fair, you don't get more than you deserve and you certainly don't get less. Yes you here about those incidents here and there, but come it's found everywhere. And seeing that we're a culture that always complains, you ALWAYS here complain. The only complains I have is about KU's administration – soo2 takh6ee6 and closed sections. That's it. Min na7yat ildirasa, trust me people, it's almost the equivalent of that elsewhere, slight differences here and there. A point to make, most, if not all of my teachers graduated from very respectable universities in the States. So if you claim our education is not good, then you're saying the education you received wasn't good as well. I'm not saying KU is the next Harvard, or that it's amazing, but let's acknowledge its education standards. About its extra-curricular activities such as sports, clubs, etc, well, we have none! And that’s something to bitch about :P

First year I stayed here I was sad about all the opportunities I was going to miss if I was elsewhere, 4 years later (now) all I can say is I'm glad I didn't go. I'm still in the same place I was, but I took every opportunity that came my way, I did a lot of things, met a lot of people, experienced and joined a lot of things that made me grow as a person. When some of my friends come back and I hear about how all they did last semester was eat in this and that restaurant and watch movies, all I can think is, how sad for someone to be living miles away from home where every turn there's an opportunity and yet be doing the exact same things we've been doing since we were 13? Well okay, so they went places in breaks, but that's about it.

People who want to learn and grow as a person will do that anywhere with the bare minimum! People who don't simply won't no matter where they are and no matter how many options, and opportunities and facilities he has. Einstein, Bill Gates, the Write Brothers, they all shined because they were passionate about what they were doing, none of them finished school.

All I'm saying is, changing the skies above our heads will not change the people we are. It's OUR willingness to change to the better and making use of what we have that will. It's not about studying abroad or studying here, and for the love of God, let's stop comparing the two! One's not better than the other, they're just different. Life's what YOU MAKE IT! It's not the location, it's the destination, the outcome of it.

Scribblings of an Amateur

2006-09-08T03:00:00.000+03:00

- A Forbidden Path -

Naive I was scared and insecure

Their ignorance was once my own

You came along, revilled my senses

So I took your hand and

Tread upon a forbidden path

I bid farewell to my once sullen heart

Now a kindled spirit

New hopes and dreams

A dwelling I found

As I tread upon the forbidden path

Eternity in your eyes

My heart - a blazing sun of love

Vivacious avid soul

True bliss I endowed

As I tread along a forbidden path

Forbidden I learned

Only because unknown

Prisoners of fear and ostracized terrain

Chauvistic beings missing the beauty of

Treading along the forbidden path

Stop building a barricade

Youths of animosity

Stop creating excuses and stories

To fill your own egos, your insecurities

Tread upon an un-known path

_____________________________________

- un-named -

Once my room's door close
The real story of me unfolds
Gone is my smile, my cheerful tone
Awaken are all my hurts, all my wounds
Inside me all my truths reside
A sad young girl, an injured soul, a fractured heart
Does anyone hear my cries?
Will anybody care?
Or will they just judge and stare?

I realize the first one is very vague, but it has personal meanings. The second is incomplete. They're both rough drafts, which I'm probably going to keep as such. I just had an urge to write although I don't really "write."

"Yo, Rugman! Haven't Seen You in a Few Millennia. Give Me Some Tassel!"

2006-09-02T02:14:00.000+03:00

I've been trying to find Aladdin for a while now in Kuwait, and everywhere I go they tell me it's been banned and I won't find it anywhere. I finally found a pirated copy.

Question is: Why the hell is Aladdin banned!!? It's undoubtly one of the best cartoons out there. I'm still trying to figuring out what might have been offensive, but I still can't think of anything. Any ideas?

I watched it a couple days ago when I got it, and I'm rewatching it right now for the third time. Kids these days are missing A LOT I'm telling you. Seriously, pokemon, hoodwinked, and whatever cartoons are out there don't even come close. Sure there are a few good ones, but nothing like the ones in what I call Disney's "Golden Age": Little Mermaid, Aladdin, The Lion King, Hunchback of Notredame, Beauty and the Beast, etc.

Characters: The old cartoons characters had so much character :P I mean, they were all very defined, very memorible. Peter pan, the boy who didn't want to grow up, Ariel ( from The Little Mermaid) who wanted to belong in another world, etc.

Setting: Each cartoon had a different, unique setting. One in a nonexisting world, one under the sea, one in Arabia, another in the forest. You really get the "feel" of it.

The songs: Oh my god, the songs! Where do I begin with the songs!? The music, the words, the voices! They older cartoons songs were perfect! After all these years I still listen to them without getting bored of them. And in every song there's something that just hits home. Yes, I have most of the songs on my ipod and listen to them quiet often :P

Suspense: Maybe I just grew up, but I tried looking at it from a kids point of view: In the new cartoon's/movies, I can predict what's gonna happen. They're sorta all the same. Ya know? When I was watching Aladdin, trying to see from a kids point of view, I thought I wouldn't have guessing a genie would come out of the magic lamp when he rubbed it. Or that he was gonna get caught in the market place with the princess (since he always managed to get away). Is it true, or am I just older? :P

Picture: Now I don't really understand much about graphics and all that techno-jibberish, BUUUT I honestly, sincerly believe, those cartoon graphics are much nicer than the new advanced one. Something about it's simplicity is just so capturing! Yes, yes, you may laugh. My friends laugh at me when I say I prefer the graphics of the good old 80's and 90's than the ones today. What can I say, I embrace simplicity too much :P

Really, anyone who hasn't watched Aladdin in a while, watch it! Use the subtitles, and sing along! :)

So....

1) Any idea to why Aladdin is banned!? Is it only in Kuwait or in other neighboring countries as well?

2) What's your favorite Disney cartoon?

Personally , I can't choose only one. I love them ALL! :)

3) What Disney character do you relate to the most?

Probably, Ariel, from the Little Mermaid; a part of me feels like I don't belong. I'm also as curious as she is. And Peter Pan. What can I say, always gonna be a kid at heart :)

4) Every guy friend I talked to about Aladdin mention that they used to have a crush on Princess Jasmine. Is that true for all guys? :P Girls, had any crush on any disney cartoon character?

I can't remember having any :P I was more into the real people like Jonathan Brandis, Jonathan Jackon and JTT. Aaah the good old days, when kids looked so decent and innocent.

I'm Feeling Lucky!

2006-08-18T23:58:00.000+03:00

Try this: Go to google, type "failure", and click on the "I'm feeling lucky" button :) Quiet accurate huh?

Take a look at these ( Bushisms):

Now, take a look at this (from his bio):

College: Yale University, bachelor's degree, history
Graduate School: Harvard University, Master of Business Adminstration

Seriously, a guy with a brain like that, Yale AND Harvard!? HOW!?
"It's clearly a budget. It's got lots of numbers in it"?
"More and more of our imports come from overseas"?
Masters in business you say?! from Harvard!?

Question: After seeing a Harvard and Yale graduate represent himself in that way, no speaking abilities, not thinking capablities, has it in any way, raised up people's hope into getting in. From the demonstration we had for 6 years, Harvard doesn't seem that hard! :P

P.S: I'm sure Harvard is a well rspected, tough, etc, etc school, but that thought had to hit me :P

Enough is Enough!!

2006-07-14T01:57:00.000+03:00

Governments of the world - LISTEN to your people's pleas!

We've had enough of YOUR greed and YOUR ignorance!

STOP THE VIOLENCE!

STOP THE WARS!

We did it! We did it! We're #1!

2006-07-11T02:51:00.000+03:00

Okay, so I'm pretty sure your average Jo - hell even an illiterate person -can tell this sign says "NO PARKING" - as in it's against the law to park. Not a recommendation, not a suggestion, but absolutely, cannot, must not park there.

I just read this after seeing the link in Mark's blog. I don't know whether I should be surprised, shocked, be crying or laughing.

How can Kuwait land right on top of that list? What's even worse is that people who represented the entire Kuwaiti population and country were Kuwaiti DIPLOMATS (aka. someone above your average Jo and they're certainly not illiterate or incompetent.) I mean in regular cases you'd be happy that you'd be represented only by diplomats who were fitted enough to be in NYC. That should be a good thing right? I mean they're educated, they know how to deal with people in a civil manner, they're professional and they should know the law better than, again, the average Jo. Right?

Hell no! Kuwaiti Diplomats kick it Kuwaiti style too baby! We're above the law! It's not that these rules and signs were made for OUR well-being! Nope! They're simply there for decorating (I'm holding myself from venting on how people with two walking-able legs park in the disabled parking spot).

So besides these people being diplomats, take a look at the other countries on that list. We use some of these countries as an example of corrupted countries here (read, Egypt)! If that's not bad enough, some of these countries have civil unrest and wars in their countries! There's famine, starvation, poverty, and diseases galore!

There's an official statistical measure of corruption called the Corruption Perception Index (click here for more.) According to the 2005 survey Kuwait held the 45th position (population: 2 million) from 159 countries, Egypt 70th along with a few others (population: 74 million), Sudan 144th (population: 37 million), and Chad is considered to be the most corrupted country (population 9 million). Shouldn't it be that since we're a small country, it should be quiet easy to see those distinguished and fit to represent the country? Now for the love of God, how come our diplomats turned out to be the worst if they didn't come from the worst if you get what I mean? They actually managed to get 100 more violations per diplomat than the second worst.

When, and will we, ever learn that the world does not belong to us and that we can't live in it as though we're the only ones? Will we ever learn that the law is the law and that breaking them, or not following them is one of the major reasons we're a third world country?

You know when you're not sure of wether to be angry, shocked, surprised, dissapointed, laughing, or even crying about plain arrogance and ignorance? Or feel all at the same time? Yeah, kickin' it Kuwaiti Style usually does that ;P What a shame...

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's.. It's Just My Life Passing Me By!

2006-06-15T14:31:00.000+03:00

Love –

It's supposed to be one of, if not the most, spontaneous things people go through; or should be. A million feelings, a million thoughts, a lot of times a million obstacles. Suddenly, nothing is black or white – you crossed over into the gray territory, a place where nothing is certain, nothing is simple rollercoaster of emotions.

And yet, it seems that even the experiences of love, marriage, and commitment are a routine here. Everything's a routine, everything's "fixed", planned, and everything/everyone is always in a rush!

"Did you finish high school yet?"

"3o'bal il jam3a inshalla"

"So how long until you graduate from jam3a? cham bogalik/ch?"
"No one proposed yet?"

"When's the wedding?"

"Did you get a job yet?"

"Are you pregnant yet?"

"So, when are you planning on retiring? Arya7!"

Sounds familiar?

I understand small talk, but sometimes these questions keep on coming up repetitively, and it's more than simply small talk or catching up with someone's life. That's when it gets annoying.

Seriously, what's the rush? If we're happy and satisfied, why do you have to keep nagging? Why can't we indulge in the spontaneous-ness of life? Why can't we live the moment for it? Why are we racing life when we all know it's a race we'll never win?

Let's face it. Inside every girl is a wish for a fairy tale; prince charming (who has it all), a big perfect wedding, and of course, the happily ever after. Sure, its nice hopes and wishes, but we all know that's all it's ever going to be. Logic, life, and experiences tell us it's simply not that simple.

The beauty of love is its impulsiveness, its uncertainty, the chemistry – the rush of feelings, inexplicable actions, the feeling of being "home", of finding your other half. It's finding you possessing freedom and power you never knew you had. You push your own boundaries further. You strive to be the best person you can be. Someone has faith in you; someone makes you feel like you deserve nothing less than the best.

What saddens me is how girls here take a chance on any "eligible" bachelor. Does she know him well enough? Is he the one she wants to wake up beside every morning for as long as she lives? Is she willing to commit herself entirely to him? Does she want to experience life side by side with him? Overcome the obstacles, enjoy the pleasures, raise up lives teaching them everything they learned, giving them their all, together making sure that those lives are the best they can be and have everything they need to be able to face the world when their time comes? How does she know he's willing to do the same?

What saddens me even more is when I hear girls say, "The man isn't important, my children are." The man's not important!? He's the father of your children. They need him as much as they need you. He supports them, and he helped bring them into this world as much as you did. They are your children, yours and him alike. If all you cared about was children why didn't you adopt some? There are many family-less children out there who need the love and support? Why not save a life instead of destroying them?

That's one mentality I fail to comprehend. No matter how much I try, I can't get it. It's ridiculous and extremely irresponsible!

So, if you give yourself up to the first so-called "eligible" bachelor that comes along, how are you sure he's the right one? That there's no one else out there who can make you happier? More comfortable? Make you want to be the best you can?

Why the rush!?

Today women lead independent lives. Why can't we feel secure without having a man? Why can't we learn to think independently and choose for ourselves? We've got this far, why let society's pressures get us?

The typical Kuwaiti scenario:

Arranged marriage, two month engagement period, wedding date set, girl starts floating around with hazy eyes, she's "in love" dreaming about her magical wedding. Basically, she bought herself a ticket to what I call, "La La Land". This trip lasts until reality and responsibility knock her back to Earth.

Is two months of chaperoned visits really enough to get to know a person? What's two months of a lifetime? Why don't we invest the effort we put in pleasing people and throwing a wedding to impress them on creating relationships?

It's great to hope, to be optimistic, but sometimes having our heads in the clouds doesn't work. Responsibility, commitment, understanding, sacrifice, love. Do we even know the magnitude and real meaning of these words?

Statistics tells us that 60% of all considerably new marriages here fail. So out of every 10 people you know, 6 are or probably will be divorced. That's a scary figure! Scary and worrying! Isn't it about time we wake up and as we say "inla7ig 3ala 3omirna?"

It's like a girls' life is programmed; you graduated from high school, and the haunt for a husband starts. Meanwhile you get a college degree and start working. Note, haunt for the husband is ALWAYS on.

And what's up with coming back from your honeymoon pregnant! After a couple of months of engagement. Can you honestly say that's responsible!? Sensible? A child; it's a world of responsibility, effort, and worry. It's a fulltime job with no breaks. You can't afford to keep making mistakes here, its outcomes are semi-permanent. It'll be engraved in your child's life.

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It's to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body" --- ?

Yes, it's that big of a decision. It shouldn't be a routine of getting married and getting kids. It isn't getting kids to "secure" your husband's loyalty. And it's certainly not because they're cute and you want one! I'm not even going to bother with that last point because it's by far the most ridiculous thing I've heard my entire life! Yes, I've actually heard a couple of girls say that. They make Paris Hilton seem wise.

Let's face it, most of the time we have things handed down to us. Yes, we tend to take short cuts in most issues that really matter. Forget the preparation and cooking, we get our hot plates ready to be guzzled down.

By now you're probably thinking I'm being extremely pessimistic. I'm not. I'm sure this doesn’t apply to everyone, but I believe it does apply to many. Even if you believe it to be exaggerated, you can't deny there's some truth in it.

Let's consider university students: Their major concerns are their grades, and what to do one weekends. Notice the word "grade" and not learning. I've been here long enough it's impossible to deny the majority here don't care what they learn as much as what grade is given to them. Notice again, the word "given" and not "earned". No Siree! You don't earn anything here – it's given to you. Nagging, "wasta", lying cheating, whatever works! And let's not forget knowing everything about everyone. Female student concerns would probably also include clothes and makeup, even though they already won enough to dress a tiny African nation. Job you say? Family business! If not, then wasta. Otherwise it's hopeless! Or so they say.

No worries about bills or the future. No worries about making end of month's payments or where the cash is coming from. Okay, kids studying abroad, you do the bills, kudos to you! But the bigger and true responsibility is earning the money and managing it. Like kids here, you get the hot plate whenever you're hungry. We get it from dad, you get it from the government AND dad. Sure it's nice not to have those burdens of making ends month's payments, but is this really a gift, or is it something negative; something we should frown upon?

Back to my point: So basically, the average Kuwaiti was never used to be responsible, or committed for that matter. Hell, we can't even commit to showing up for a meeting, class, or appointment on time! Or doing what we're supposed to do when we're supposed to do it. Chitchatting or sms-ing in class, papers and 7ab at work anyone? If you don't have work, by all means enjoy. But when a professor is giving you the time of day and effort to teach you something, and you barge in 20 minutes late with your heels "chicking" and "chaking" with every step, looking like you're heading to some party at 8 am, and not having the decency to say you're sorry, please refrain from using your phones or talking to your neighbor. You're being disruptive and rude to professor. The thing that really gets to me, if when after barging 20 minutes late in that matter, they still throw a fit when they're considered absent. "il Dr. Na7eeees!" "Waaaaaay, ya khir-ha". They're NEVER wrong! One of the things I'd like to see here, is someone admitting they're wrong rather than blaming someone else.

Okay, so you're probably thinking "Shfeeha hathi" by now. Trust me, I have nothing against Kuwaitis, I don't hate them, or resent them or anything of that sort. It just saddens me how we have all the capabilities of being brilliant and we don't use them. The majority are irresponsible and believe they own the world. Everything should go the way THEY want it, WHEN they want it. And the rush! Everyone's ALWAYS in a hurry – driving for instance! Seriously shopping or a cup of coffee can wait for a few minutes if you'll spare risking your life and the lives of others. But driving is another issue all alone!

The typical day:
Wake up, work, lunch, sleep, go out maybe, home, sleep
Rinse, repeat

The weekends aren't much different:
Sleep till noon, lunch, outing, home, sleep
Throw in family visitations somewhere (usually lunch)
Rinse, repeat

The most spontaneous we have is probably the outing. Is life that boring? That much of a routine? What about love and marriage? We even managed to make a routine out of that.

It's like we rush through life as though it's a race on the same repeating track, same routine again and again, until one day we realize, the race is almost over when it feels like it never really started!

Why are we always in a rush? Why don't we embrace spontaneous-ity? Are we afraid of freely feeling? Freely thinking? Are we afraid of society's raw never-ending judgments? Man reached the moon, and we're still afraid of letting ourselves go? Still afraid to live, love, get hurt and learn? That afraid of the unknown territories that lie within us!? Afterall, it's only unknown because we choose not to head in that direction. This fear is the same one that led us to govern out feelings, the cause of being superficial, the cause of losing our identities, of standing out. Suddenly we all seem to merge, being the same – same places, same thoughts, same ideas. Simply the same.

But do we do it because we fear the future? Fear the unknown? Fear society? Or do we simply do it because everyone around us is doing it? Or perhaps its because we're "expected" to be that way – a part of our life's "routine"?

Think back to when you were a kid. I'm sure in everyone of us there was a desire to be a superhero – the next superman saving the world, to find a cure for some disease, to sell more records than Michael Jackson, act alongside John Travolta, be the next Shakespeare, win a Nobel prize. Whatever happened to these dreams?

Is it me or does it seem like barely anyone old enough has goals, let alone dreams and ambitions? And is it only me or does it seem that ambitions still exist in other parts of the word but are almost extinct here?

"The boy didn't know what a person's destiny was. It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone when they are young knows what their destiny is. At that point in their lives, everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would life to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their destiny."

- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

This force, what is it exactly? Society? Fear of failure? Pure sensibility?
Are dreams created to be sensible? Are hearts meant to be tamed?

Dare to dream…Dare to feel
Do more than just exist, start living!

"To truly live, one must be free with their emotions, and by this, I mean that a person can't hide from what they feel, and the happiness is only accompanies when they speak all worries and dreams."

---?

" Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover."

-- Mark Twain

Maybe I'm just in one of those moods, this might have been exagerated, but as I started writing this is what came out. Please understand that I didn't mean to offend anyone, judge, critize or hate; these are just my random thoughts.

Thoughts

2005-12-13T23:46:00.001+03:00

Thought of the day#1:
Did you notice that when you are at a red light and the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination?
I do that no matter how much I try NOT to! So annoying! lol

Thought of the day#2:
Isn't it scary that you can get food delivered to your house much faster than an ambulance can get there!? That's messed up, we really should sort out our priorities! ;P

Too Many of...

2005-11-13T23:50:00.000+03:00

Look around your house, what is one thing that you
have too many of?

And if it dies, so do they!!

2005-11-12T22:06:00.000+03:00

4 pm - I just entered the univerity library, books in one hand, bottle of water in another, and a smile on my face. So far, the day has been great, and for once, I was in the mood to study during midterm week. I found a table, quietly sat down, opened my book and started reading. I haven't even finished the first paragraphe when two girls a few tables away from me started talking, or should I say yelling to each other, laughing as loudly as they could possible can and started giving each other high fives (don't ask!)

4:05: One of those girls is now on the phone, talking and laughing even louder than she was before.

4:07: With the girl in front of me still on the phone, I hear the phone ringing from the table behind me, followed by "alooo.... HALLAAA....SHLOONICH!?!!!"

So this goes on for about 10 minutes, both the girl in front of me and behind me are on the phone, chatting away ignoring everything around them. After they're done with their important *cough* calls, they go on talking, and they were getting msgs every 2 minutes!!

I take a bathroom break, and there's a girl in the bathroom who's on the phone!

I'm going to skip the part about being quiet in the library, but this is for: PEOPLE WHO HAVE CELLPHONES PERMANENTLY ATTACHED TO THEIR EARS!

For the betterment of society as a whole, here's some things you might want to think off:

You do not need to automatically raise your voice when you answer your phone. The rest of the world does not need to hear every last detail, no matter how important you might find it. And YES we do know you own a cell phone, just like everyone else!
It is not necessary to place your cellphone in a prominent location, such as your desk in class, when you can't answer it and won't be needing it then!
Answering your phone while in (or worse, using) the bathroom is completely inappropriate. The person you're talking to does not want to hear the sound of a toilet flushing in the middle of their conversation!
As cute and amusing as you might find your ringtone, other people might not share your appreciation for its musical originality *cough* when it goes off during a lecture or in the quiet study area of the library!!
You don't look cool when you check your messages every two minutes!! You just look like a communication-starved obsessive compulsive teenager/person!
When you're out with one of your friends, do consider keeping the conversation under 30 minutes, they're there to hang out and catch up with you, not to see and hear you be on the phone with someone else!

For those people who are always on their cell phones to and from class.. .how exciting can "OHMIGOD I was just in math and now I am totally not in math." be? Doesn't it ever get boring?

Do you think the Kuwaiti society is over-using their cell phones!?

I do! In the corridors, in class waiting for the professor, in their cars, in malls, in restaurants, in the jam3eeya, whereever i go atleast 7/10 people are on their cellphones - if not talking, msging.

The other day I was in my local "mostaw9if", where I had to wait until the doctor was off his phone for him to check up on me! It's ridiculous!

Don't get me wrong, cell phones are lovely, and I would feel lost without mine... but having it stuck to your ear is just plain tacky, and sometimes just plain rude!

My Shadow

2005-07-23T20:17:00.000+03:00

A Black Hole
Never-ending Turmoil, pulling and sucking everything in
So dark my world
No light, no ending, no rebound
No hope, no reverie
Simply Despair

Emptiness
The longing, the desire, My foolish yearns
Never fulfilled
Never a touch of a hand, or an understanding nod
Never felt a beating heart

So lonely, so lonesome, and completely alone
Dejection, Depression, Desperation
Misery, my only loyal Friend
So cold, so helpless
So lost - aimlessly wandering

My Bleeding Heart
My Hollow soul
My feelings so numb and dead

My life, simply a Black Hole
I'm falling, so quickly, on my way down,
Slowly fading away into sheer Nothingness
Knocking so hard on Death's door
Shunned away by Life, not even Death is letting me in

I'm reaching out, I'm calling, I'm crying for Help
Only a touch of a hand
Only an understand nod
Only for a beating heart